想太多

Last week, when i was struck with a sudden illness, my mind started to wander... Before i saw the doc and before the medicine took effect, i started to imagine the worst things that might happen to me. Especially when the pain was unbearable to the point of paralysing me (momentarily), i thought that i had suffered a stroke or that i was really going to stay like this for the rest of my life. A sudden fear just gripped me and i felt so helpless. i've still got so much things i haven't accomplished. i haven't found my purpose in life. i haven't said goodbyes. i haven't said i love yous. i haven't said thank yous. Well, you got the drift...

The truth is, in the face of "death" (or so i thought it was) or disaster, i just realised that i don't dare to face up to plenty of things, like, stuff that makes you look into your heart and confess / say things out to people who matters to you. i mean, do you say "i love you" to your loved ones? Parents, friends? And if you really fancy that guy/girl, do you dare to tell him/her? Especially when he/she might seem to be (in most people's eyes) wrong for you? Seize the day! Just tell him/her! i can tell myself that but making that first step is the hardest bit. i think i'm out of practice for too long.

i've almost recovered from my neck ache or whatever it was. And i still haven't figured out my mind. i probably think too much le...